It's a Bagel Guillotine, wtf else do you want from me?
Seriously though, no matter what anyone tries to tell you, 'Let Them Eat Cake' is the true inspiration for this fancy contraption.
As an homage to the peasants without bread, the Bagel Guillotine helps us remember what was lost, and gained that day, by guillotining our bread in solidarity. We get to have our 'bread' i.e. bagel, and eat it too.
Effortlessly and evenly slice your bagel, each and every time. Be the executioner of your own destiny.
Equipped with a safety shield and protective cover so you don't lose any fingers.